Can you see it in my eyes?

Look out world, I'm feeling a bit jaded as of late...

"Hope" and "Wait"

Fantastic last words.

Reading those last words sort of gave me the sign to keep on hoping for what I'm waiting for. Or should it be keep on waiting for what I'm hoping for? Either way, it's fine with me.

True Romance

The fastest way to my heart is found here.

What more could I ask for? What more could YOU ask for by taking me as your date on the cheap!

Who, me?

I've been very lightly toying with the idea of becoming a flight attendant. Today, I was trolling around some airline websites, and took a basic questionnaire for one that is based out of Chicago. To my surprise, at the end of the "quiz", they have scheduled me for an in-person interview. You want to say "What are you doing?" right? Yeah, I don't know. Do I go? Do I skip it? Does anyone know any flight attendants?

Into the Open

Today is one of those days. A hellish ride on the train into work. Bad night's sleep. Deciding that the answer to all of my unanswered questions is "no" or "never". A weekend of contemplating job suicide (no, not real suicide). I read my weekly horoscope this morning in the daily news, and apparently, the moon is on the wrong side of my sign, so, basically, nothing will go my way. I give up.

BUT, then I finally get to work, and turn on the old stand-by, WOXY, and although the music is only putting me in a slightly-better-than-melancholy mood, it's making me feel better. Thanks music, at least I know that you'll always be there.

Dear Mr. CTA

Oh, I'm sorry, you said what?

You're telling me that I should allow at least 1.5 hours to get to work and 2 hours to get home from work?

You're telling me that there will be a slim to none chance that I will ever get a seat while I'm riding the train for an hour at a time?

You're telling me that you're going to take even more of my money away from me and give me nothing in return?

You're calling yourself a "rapid" transit system?

FUCK YOU.

You've already made my commute long enough with slow-downs thanks to tracks that are in poor condition, switching problems, and/or track signal problems.

It's time for me to get out of Chicago. It's time for me to find a job in a different area of the city. It's time for me to move to a different neighborhood. It's time for me to starting riding a bike everywhere that I need to go.

2007

2006 has come and gone, but I'm sure you all noticed that. I spent the evening alone, with a giant pan of lasagna, and a delicious pear and chocolate cake that I converted from a metric recipe that our old friend Lorenzo passed on to me. I watched a terrible movie, The Last Kiss, and then watched some old episodes of Grey's Anatomy. It was extremely satisfying, and probably the best New Year's Eve that I've had since 2000, and definitely much better than the disaster that took place last year. I took a peek at my post at the opening of 2006 to see what my thoughts were at that point. Looks like the usual year of ups and downs, no? I have to say that 2006 was definitely better than 2005. For the most part, I had tons of fun this last year. I mean, come on, I traveled the world, gave up reality and stability, learned some good farming techniques, told my old job to go to hell, met some really awesome people, got a new job (too bad it's incredibly boring), and took a vacation that seemed like a page out of someone's dreams. I really can't think of anything too terrible that happened to me in 2006, save for the time that I spent mending a trampoline net for a bunch of spoiled kids, when I should have been planting carrots or something.

I'm not going to make resolutions or anything of the like for 2007 because I just don't do that kind of thing. Here are the things that I am working towards and looking forward to in the upcoming year:

- Getting a new job (my interview went really, really well a couple of weeks ago)
- My trip to India in April (or sooner)

That's pretty much it, other than spending time with the people that I enjoy spending time with, but that's something that I always try to do.

Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for thinking of me. I've included some pictures that represent my life in 2006.

Irish

Irish pub + Irish bartender + Irish beer + Irish music + Chicago = good times. Thanks Jennifer for rescuing me from an office holiday party and providing me with multiple hours of fun. We will have a standing date until I leave the country.

Strawberries

Do you see these strawberries? Those are the damned strawberries that I planted for three entire days straight, alone and cold, on the top of a windy hill in County Clare, Ireland back in late March. Not to mention, the care that I had to give to each individual plant to "keep them happy" in the following weeks. I was relegated to planting strawberries on the hill when I injured my wrist the week prior. It was an easy enough task, just very mundane. The first day was met with a steady rain and wind. We had laid down black plastic over the ground to keep the weeds down (seeing as though we couldn't use any herbicide, being an organic farm and all). The downfall of the black plastic is the fact that when it rains, the water just pools up in the uneven spots of the earth. This didn't make for much fun for me, seeing as though I was kneeling on the ground while planting the strawberries, and the water slowly seeped into my work boots, not to mention soaked my knees, and every inch of fabric in my pants and socks from waist to toe. Oh yeah, and don't forget that it was raining, so come time to come in for lunch, I was soaked from head to toe. Robin saw me and said "well, if it isn't...Miss Wet!" I told him that I felt like a drowned cat and went upstairs to change my clothes and probably felt like crying. It was one of the lowest days that I had back in County Clare. The following days weren't all that great, seeing as though I was still stuck on "Strawberry Hill" alone, but at least the weather improved. It had warmed up enough on the second day to wake up the bees that were housed mere feet away from me in the strawberry patch. In the middle of the day, at the height of warmth, they were really buzzing, but didn't bother me much. I also brought a flat board with me, so I could sit on that, instead of the wet plastic filled with little pools of water. There were times where I would take a break, and lay down on the wooden board, and just stare up at the blue sky and the wispy clouds, feeling the sun's warmth my face. I would listen to the sheep and lambs bleating. The sheep were annoying, but those little lambs were too damn cute. I also listened to the wind coming through the trees in the small forest next to me, and hear the screams of what I assumed was a wild pig, which sometimes sounds like a woman screaming. The birds were chirping and the bees were buzzing. It became satisfyingly solitary. I had all the time in the day to sit alone and contemplate for hours on end. What did I think about? My family. What I was doing with my life. What I wanted to change in my life. My friends, and how much they meant to me. Trips to Spain and other places in Europe. What travels I would hope to take in the following year to visit people. Self-inventory, so to speak. I had a few revelations on that hill, and some of them I've carried through on.

I can close my eyes today, and see everything that I saw there on top of that hill and hear the sounds. I often wish that I was back on that farm again. For all of the low times, there was so much satisfaction that I got out of the days that I spent there. It definitely felt like a home to me, complete with family. If I could do it all over again, I definitely would, in a heartbeat. I wish I could be there tomorrow, in fact.

Anyway, back to those strawberries. When the farmer talked about those strawberries, you could see the euros in his eyes! I could have cared less about them. Miserable, miserable strawberries! At least I now know that people were able to enjoy them and reap the benefits of my labor.

I just asked the hardest question and had the toughest conversation in my life so far. It's not over yet. I don't feel well. Why do I have to be one of those "glass half empty" people?