Uncle J.P.

Some days are better than others, that's what she tells me. Then she says that she always feels like something is missing, and that she doesn't have anyone to talk to the same way that her and grandpa used to talk. This is what really sends me downhill fast. I want to lose it right then and there, but I have to hold it together, well, because I don't want to let her know that I feel terrible for her and that I miss him so much, but not nearly as much as she does. After all, he was her heart for 50 odd years. The man that she gave everything to and got everything in return. I wouldn't know what to do with myself either. After holding back the tears and coming dangerously close to letting out a sob, I tell her that it will take time, and that I know that we're not exact substitutes for grandpa, but that we are here to listen and talk to her just the same. Then she goes and makes me feel guilty again by saying "I can't wait to see you this week, and I wish you would come out here more often for a visit." Grandmas seem to be good at that kind of thing. She also tells me that I need to go to church more often. I often worry about her and wonder what she thinks about, and hope it's not the worst. I hope that she still goes out and talks to grandpa everyday at the cemetery, even if it is a depressing thought. I wish I could talk to him too. I miss you Grandpa, and yes, the days are getting easier, but I still think about you as much as I used to.

No Cupcakes Today

Tonight after work, I went to a fancy grocery store called Fox & Obel with a gift card in hand. Those things really come in handy when you run out of money, since food is really all you need to live and water is free. Anyway, I went there to pick up some tomatoes, fresh basil, and fresh mozzarella to throw on some garlic naan for some experimental pizza. I picked up all of those ingredients, as well as just about peed my pants out of sheer excitement at the veritable array of delicious goodness everywhere I looked. I had only gone into the store a couple of times before, but never really looked around because things are overpriced, and too fancy for everyday shopping. But oh my god, I felt like a kid in the candy store. Afterall, food is one of my top favoritest things in the entire world!! They had so many amazing things, and I ended up picking up a fancy bag of Swiss muesli and a pint of super fancy ice cream that was made out of coconut milk and curry powder for a whopping $6.50. Am I out of my freaking mind spending that much on four servings of ice cream? I think so, but it did taste quite delicious over my warmed up apple crisp. Oh yeah, the pizza I made was good too. That store just spells danger for me. Seriously, no one EVER let me go in there unless I have tons of money to spend or another gift card. I was in heaven.

Oh yeah, and I gave my resignation letter to my boss today. It went over quite well, and everyone seems excited for me. Of course, they is some scurrying to find someone to replace me, so I can start training them on the inner workings of my brain. Unlucky for whoever that may be. Apparently, during the management meeting, my departure was being discussed by the big bosses were speculating about what I was going to be up to during my free time. Someone mentioned drinking Guinness, then another piped up and said "no, she's going to be drinking scotch", and he was shot down by the VP, who stated "I'm pretty sure Cristin will be enjoying the Guinness instead..." and she is quite right. Although, I wouldn't mind a whiskey chased by a Guinness, now that sounds dang good!

I Love Science

Tonight I went to see We Are Scientists, and I realized that I still have major crushes on skinny boys that wear small shirts and have wild hair. Wait? Did I ever think that I was over that? Some non-memorable band started out the night, filling in for Aberdeen City. We moved closer and half-enjoyed Oxford Collapse. They really weren’t too bad, and I found myself enjoying a couple, if not a few, of their tunes. Then Robyn and I made our move to the front to catch some great action when We Are Scientist came on. They really rocked out and had me dancing more than once. I also enjoyed the spacing of my favorite songs of theirs, unlike some bands that play them all in a row, leaving me nothing to look forward too. Oh yeah, and I really liked their dedication song of “Be My Baby” to Oxford Collapse. I believe all the kids, cool and non-cool, were singing along to that one. I helped Robyn out by snapping a few pics, and I must admit that I’m impressed with myself. It was my first shot at being an amatuer photojournalist, and I wasn't a complete failure. It was a lot of fun. I guess the only part of the night that sucked was when I was getting off of the blue line (a car with the funky double doors), and the door snagged on my boot, and totally ripped it. Thank goodness I was wearing some heavy duty leather ones, otherwise my toe would have probably been ripped off and someone would be in trouble. Anyway, it really sucks ass because they’re one of my favorite pairs of shoes, and now they probably aren’t “work” suitable. Maybe I can try some of that Karazee glue?

A List - In No Particular Order

Things I seriously have a dislike for, because hate is such a strong word:

1.) Ugg boots on anyone, any time of year

2.) Cabbies that have no fucking clue of where they are going

3.) The Fiery Furnaces

4.) The Scissor Sisters

5.) People who wear trucker hats who aren't truck drivers or don't live in the middle of nowhere and don't know that it is/was a popular thing

6.) Creepy old men

7.) Diet sodas

8.) Raisins

Fox News

Ok, so I've never really sat down and made a point of watching the Fox News network, but the place I ate lunch at yesterday had it on one of the many TVs that I was facing. I noticed a few of the stories that they were carrying, and for some reason, laughed at all of them.

1.) Harry Belafonte Re-Affirms that Bush is a terrorist -- bold move Mr. Belafonte, I sure hope that you weren't on Georgie's iPod, he might just have to take you off after he finishes his 28th listen to My Sharona for the day.

2.) Getting just a little bit of sleep has you functioning like a drunk -- really? And when you drunk do you function like you're operating on a lack of sleep. Sure, I've been drunk while trying to function, as well as operating on less than two hours of sleep. I think the drunk one is more fun.

3.) The Bible Diet - eat like God intended -- My guess is that he wants you to stay away from artificial foods and processed/refined foods. Most likely because that garbage didn't exist back in the day. And all of this hinges on whether you even believe in God in the first place. What do you think that King Monkey wanted us to eat?

Oh yeah, and I'm really hating that James Blunt "You are Beautiful" song that seems to be popping up everywhere.

Direct and Systematic

I spent 3.5 hours of my workday in a "time management skills" training session. It was about the biggest waste of time that I've experienced in a long while. We took some lame 21 question quiz about how we would react in different work situations, and low and behold, my highest "time management styles" turned out to be "direct" and "systematic", with a small amount of consideration, and total lack of spirit. I guess that means that I come across as one of those "yeah, yeah, yeah, get to the point" or "I really don't care about how you feel, let's look at these numbers and facts instead" type of worker. Maybe I'll make a tyrant style boss someday, or when I take over the world, I will run it as a dictatorship, but thinly veil it as a socialist global society. I sure hope that I'm not that bad in my social life, but I guess if I were, I would have zero friends because no one would want to put up with me and I probably wouldn't want to put up with them either. Anyways, back to the "training", I can definitely say that I picked up zero time management skills/tools, and most of the time was spent talking about our feelings and how to deal with people who have different time management styles. Blah.

In the afternoon, a co-worker of mine came to visit my neighbor who was listening to NPR. Visitor gave Neighbor a hard time for listening to NPR in the first place, but Neighbor stuck up for herself saying that she was listening to the Alito hearings for his Supreme Court nomination, and if he gets a seat on the bench, things will definitely be on their way to the right side of things, etc., etc., and it will probably mean changes in women's reproductive rights. Visitor responded with lack of care for current affairs, and basically stated that she didn't plan to reproduce any time soon and didn't really care what they decided. HELLO??? IS THIS THING ON??? Get with the fucking program, that's the whole point! If you don't want to/don't plan to procreate in the next 10-15 years, and a little accident happens, you sure as hell better care about how many of the Georgie lovers are on the bench!! Morons...

I'm Outta Here!

FUCKING ROCK!!! I just bought my plane ticket out of the country and I'm so excited that I could eat someone. I will be gone for a grand total of 89 days and I will enjoy every minute of it. Who knows, maybe I'll go incognito and never come back...

My day at work sucked and I feel like I could go out and do something wild and crazy and possibly harmful to my health if the opportunity presented itself. Buying this plane ticket helped a little, and it certainly was detrimental to my finances, but fortunately I had a bit more set aside for the airfare than what I paid, so that's a plus.

I decided to make my last day at work February 28th. That will give me almost two whole weeks to go nuts before I leave. I feel like a kid again. Hmmm, maybe because I'm throwing all responsibilty and reality to the wind? The next big question is where/when/how many times do I want to celebrate? Thoughts? Ideas?

Happy 2006!

It's a new year and time for my new life adventure. I guess I'll be like everyone else and post highlights and lowlights of 2005 just for some fun.

Lows:

• My shitty job
• The death of my grandpa
• Dating guys who seem interested in me, but just can't get over that previous relationship in their head. Have some fucking fun guys, let loose, get over it, I'm a great girl who doesn't want to get into anything serious right away anyway, especially since I'm leaving the country!
• Not being able to go to India, due to financial and career limitations
• Not having enough balls to do more stuff on my own, especially going to see live music
• *WARNING - GROSS ALERT - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK* -- Passing out in a pool of my own vomit on the living room floor at 11:59 PM on December 31st, 2005. Which was proceeded by leaving a concert early and having a chair collapse under me, and followed by laying in the shower with the water on and still half-dressed.

Highlights:

• Seeing my sister and two best friends get married (not to each other, of course!)
• Moving out on my own for the first time in about three years
• Seeing lots of live shows that usually knocked my socks off and made me shake my ass
• Taking up the banjo
• Going to Austin, TX for one of the best music weekends of my life, if not the best, even if it was over 100 degrees every day
• Arcade Fire/The Black Keys - Stubb's BBQ in Austin
• Intonation Festival - Chicago -- Thank you Pitchfork for introducing me to Swedish rockers Dungen, letting me witness the spectacle of a Nic Offer related music project Out Hud, and getting 15,000 people to kneel on the ground and then get swallowed by a pretend whale while screaming for our lives while enjoying the musical renditions of The Decemberists
• Meeting new people with great taste in music
• Winning two iPods in a span of six months
• My great dinner at Alinea(click there for a chance to admire some of the chef's creations
• Deciding to escape the chains of mundane life and regular responsibility and plan a crazy organic farming trip abroad, thanks to WWOOF

Things I'm looking forward to in 2006:

• Living and traveling abroad for a few months
• Telling my company to "Take this job and shove it"
• Returning to Chicago and getting a new place and a new job, and a new perspective on life

So that's my list. I'm sure it's not complete, and if I think of anything else to add, I will make the edits. I wish I had some cool and fun New Year's pictures to show you, but as you can see, I drank too much on New Year's Eve and missed out on some fun. I have also decided to scrap my "go back to school" plan because I am too in love with Chicago and totally not in love with the idea of moving back to Minnesota and living with my parents while trying to save money. I think I'll be happier this way, or at least I hope so. I have also made some edits to my links and stuff found on the side of the page, so if the mood strikes you, feel free to check some of them out, especially my friend Dan's blog. He's a cool and smart guy, helps me out when I need it, and is a staunch supporter of my farming scheme. Oh yeah, and he likes it when people call him when he's drunk and not reading girlie books.

Well, it's raining here and there's even a little bit of thunder, which is a rare occurence in January in the midwest. I'm wrapping up a solid two weeks of not having to go into the office. A week was spent with my family in Minnesota for Christmas and the rest of the time have been spent being lazy during the day and having fun at night, which I don't ever really get to enjoy on a regular basis. I get to stay up late and sleep as late as I want. If only my life was always like this... I can't say that I've really been able to live so carefree for about five or so years, it was a long needed break. It's back to work on Wednesday, and I can't say that I'm particularly looking forward to it, but at least I know that I only have two months left and I know that they'll fly by. On that note, I need to do some daytime TV watching and start thinking of things to get rid of before I move.

Icicles of Death

That is what looms for me if I choose to exit my apartment through the back stairway. I would venture to guess that the largest one is now at least four feet long. They will either fall on me and split my head open, or I'll slip and fall down the stairs as a result of the slow melt that accumulates in a thick layer of ice on the steps from the drippage. Needless to say, I don't think I'll be doing any laundry by walking down those steps any day soon. It's cold, lots of snow, and entirely too much work for me to do these days. I guess I'll have to maintain whatever sanity I have left until the end of the month when I have a week off of work.

The Walking Dead

Happy Halloween! I know, I'm a couple of weeks late, but at least I have the memories. This year, I dressed up as a zombie prom queen. It was cheap, I already had the dress, I could be liberal with the fake blood, and I got a lot of attention for the costume. It was a big hit with everyone, except some people were a bit grossed out by the slashed neck and stab wound to the heart. And yes, folks, I did dress up and go bowling.